December 2013 to do list:
quit job
say bye to family
drive across America (solo)....
Yep, that's what I did. I had been working for eight years as a high school guidance counselor and decided I wanted to shift the trajectory of my career, but I needed a break. I had been in a Ph.D. program for 2 years and was starting to burn out. So, what did I do? Dropped everything and drove!
I spent the next month planning my route, highlighting maps, booking hotels (I was going to be traveling over New Year's and didn't want to chance hotels being full), and wondering what in the world I was thinking. I literally was quitting my job, draining my savings, and venturing by myself to drive across the country.......WHAT?! Spoiler alert......it was RAD!
Now, something to keep in mind is that I had some money saved, vacation accrual I could cash out, and no significant other or pet, so these factors made the idea a little more realistic and the decision easier to make. Although it is possible to do a cross-country road trip on the cheap, and bring your significant other or pet with you, these factors should not be deal breakers in any cross-country adventure dreams you may have.
Those who know me, know I am a bit of a safety squirrel (okay, a pretty big safety squirrel). I play it safe and tend to err on the side of caution. I am also incredibly directionally challenged. Needless to say, deciding to travel across the country by myself was a pretty big "out of the box" idea given these two things. DO NOT FEAR - GPS is here! And, being a safety squirrel is a good thing when traveling solo as long as you don't let the worry of "what could happen" creep in and ruin the adventure.
I mapped out my route with anticipation that I should be flexible should the weather become a challenging factor. I was leaving on December 26 after all, and driving conditions could be unpredictable. My plan was to end up in Durham, NC and then figure it out. I picked Durham as it was at the center of the research triangle with a few well-known universities and endless connection to opportunities in higher ed. I thought, I'll just move to Durham and get a job at Duke or UNC. It didn’t end up working out that way.
I traveled the 40 and went through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, and North Carolina. I saw snow in Arizona, tumbleweeds (big) on the freeway in Texas, Jesus outside of Oklahoma City (he really did save me), and saw the guitar drop in Nashville on New Year's Eve. The drive was definitely an adventure and there were a few times when I thought I had made the dumbest decision of my life, and a few other times when I got straight up scared.
Scariest moment – almost running out of gas at night, in the snow, with no sense of how many miles of gas I had before getting to the next town (love the feature on newer cars that tells you this). As I began to realize my fate could soon turn bleak (yes, it was that dramatic in the moment), I come around the bend in the road to see a brightly lit billboard on the side of the highway (lit similarly to a vanity mirror from the 80’s with big bubs around the perimeter), with a picture of Jesus, arms wide spread and the words “I am here for you.” In huge white letters. Well, if that wasn’t reassurance that gas was right around the corner, I don’t know what was! Sure enough, a few miles away was a small little town with a hotel, gas station, and an Italian place. Think red and white checkered tablecloths, red wine served from jugs, and the best lasagna on the planet. Jesus was, indeed, there for me.
While there were a few other scary moments, there were many more unique experiences that were quite noteworthy. Let me tell you about toothless Deena in New Mexico and the search for Corn Nuts. For context, as I left for my trip, my mom gave me a snack box for the road and Corn Nuts was a main staple. I had eaten my last bag midway through Arizona and by the time I hit east New Mexico, I was craving more. I stopped at this little store a few blocks off the highway that carried the main necessities in life, including an abundance of snack options. As I perused the offerings, I didn’t see any Corn Nuts. From the back of the store, out came a woman hollering “hey there! What can I get for ya?” “Well,” I responded, I was hoping for some Corn Nuts.” OH! COME ON BACK HERE! WE GOT EM WE GOT EM! . As I follow her to the back of the store, she turns around as she’s walking excitedly and says “you don’t look like you’re from here (ya think?) what’s the hype with the nuts? It was then that I noticed her lack of teeth and her nametag that read DEENA. She had wiry grey hair, looked to be around 70 and seemed as though she had been running that little store for quite some time. As I told her the story of mom and the snack box and my big adventurous plans of starting a new life in the south east, she hastily moved between engaging with me and averted her attention to a number of boxes lining the back of the store. As she moved a few boxes and her eyes darted over the others, she started rummaging through one of them, she quickly exclaimed, “found em!” as she pulls out two fistfuls of the crunchy goodness. I took three bags and as I was paying, she made the comment that she loved salty snacks with pop (soda in my lingo) and I couldn’t help but wonder if this combination contributed to her lack of teeth. Thanks for the help, Deena!
When I got to Durham, I realized two things very quickly, movers don’t come when they say they will; wait, let me reword – movers come whenever they want (they came at 1am, and in the pouring rain, and didn’t give a rip about anything but getting out of there as soon as possible – so much so that they left the moving blankets taped to everything) and I was very far away from anything and everything I knew. As tough as the first week was, I started to get out and feel a bit more comfortable in my new spot.
I had done quite a bit of research on restaurants in Durham and the surrounding areas, naturally, given my restaurant background and found there were quite a few good ones to try out. One of my first nights out, I went to Piedmont in downtown Durham. I walked into an open space with a large loft area, with cool wood fixtures on the walls, cozy lighting, and a vibe that made you want to come in and hang out. I sat at the bar, as I normally do, and after eating some of the best farm to table fare and experiencing phenomenal service, decided I wanted to work there. I went in the next morning and landed a job as a server. If you had told me six months prior that I would be asking folks in their post-church Sunday best if they wanted hash or grits with their eggs, I would’ve said you were crazy. But there I was and it was great.
I met some really great people along the way, some not so great people, and further realized my absolute love for the south (and I have returned many times since to visit). I spent most of the year working at Piedmont, not getting jobs at well-known universities, wondering about things like Cicada season (those suckers are loud), tornados, and missing my family and all things west coast, terribly. I decided it was time to go back to California.
I left Durham and headed out on the 70. The Blue Ridge Mountains were so beautiful! Louisville, KY was my first stop of my second cross-country journey and it wasn’t too shabby! Waterfront city with some nice architecture and home of the Maker’s Mark Bourbon Lounge. I figured since I was in Kentucky, I should take part in the local tradition.
I woke up the next morning much earlier than planned (clearly, one whisky sour was not enough), 2:30 AM to be exact. Couldn’t go back to sleep so decided to start my 9 and a half hour drive to Kansas a bit earlier than originally planned. But first, gotta get gas. And this is where it got good. The shell station a block from my hotel was apparently open 24 hours and was surprisingly quite crowded. To the woman standing outside of the shell station…..at 3:00 AM; great job purchasing a multi-purpose outfit! Hmmm….should I wear this as a dress tonight, or should I saran wrap the fruit bowl in my fridge with it? My vote? Saran wrap over fruit. Apparently the shell gas station is not the only thing open at 3:00 AM in Louisville.
On to Topeka, KS. I traveled through Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and Kansas. First off. I have to give major props to whoever decided to start Travel America (TA). It’s a road tripper’s dream! You can get gas, pee in a clean toilet, get a variety of snacks, peruse the aisles of tacky trinkets and gifts and have an excellent people watching experience! And, after drinking a 32oz diet coke, I couldn’t wait to get to the next TA……..just so I could pee in another clean bathroom.
When I got to Topeka I found that it was not the heaven of Kansas as I anticipated. Ok, I didn’t really tie heaven and Kansas together, but you get the idea. I was starving and stopped in at Terry’s Bar and Grill. The interior reminded me a lot of the Nugget in Summerland, CA, minus the animal heads. Joe (a regular of numerous years and no younger than 75) hobbles in using a cane, takes a seat at the bar and without saying a word has a pitcher of bud light set in front of him with a frosty glass. He pulls out of his backpack a brown paper bag. He takes out a paper napkin that he lays out on the bar, a zip lock bag containing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread (with more jelly than peanut butter given how much purple goo was dripping out of the sandwich) and a bag of chips. He dumps the chips on the napkin and proceeds to eat his homemade lunch and bar bought pitcher of beer. I was curious, so I asked the bartender about him. Joe has been eating the same lunch, with the same pitcher of beer on the same bar stool for five years. There’s something to be said for routine….. and a gooey PB&J sandwich.
I finished my long haul back home and as I crossed into California, felt an instant sense of relief. Looking back, the experience was logistically rather easy, it’s just planning really, and I’m VERY good at planning. The stress of not having a steady stream of income, and the emotional toll of being away from my family - and in a place very different from what I knew, was difficult.
Did I regret my decision to try something new? No. Did I wince at the amount of money I had saved up and now spent on my adventure and to live with only a server pay to stay afloat, no. The trip was beyond worth it. I learned about myself, truly experienced all things southern (good and bad) and have more stories across 15 states than I can count.
If you ever have the chance to drop what you are doing (or take it with you) and travel, do it! We have a country filled with so much beauty and the experience will be once in a lifetime. For those who are wondering, I ultimately did get the job in higher education which gave me the flexibility to travel, to fall in love with cruising, and to start a business as a travel advisor (and, despite all of the corn nuts along the way, I still have all of my teeth.
